When Opposites Attract : The Key To Forging A Successful Relationship

You have fallen deeply in love. However, you and your partner seem to have very little in common. You like heavy metal. He likes Opera.  He is a night owl. You are an early bird.  He is Democrat. You are Republican.   He's over six feet tall. You come up to his chest.   

With so many differences between you, can you both forge a successful relationship?

Yes, you can!

Despite your differences you share a connection. It's what attracted the two of you together in the first place.

The key is to allow your differences to bring you closer together, while refusing to allow them to pull you apart.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but there are strategies you can use to bridge the  gap:

• Learn the fine art of negotiation.   A very important component of negotiation is compromise.  It's vital to realize even though you are in love, you are two very different people and disagreements will occur. Learning to negotiate will enable you both to find that necessary middle ground on which to stand.

• Agree to disagree.  On issues where you both simply can not agree, it is often better to acknowledge the other person's position and move on. 

• Try to see things from your partner's point of view.   The old adage of "walking a mile in another person's shoes" originated from the wisdom of the Native Americans. It means making the sincere attempt to see circumstances from your partner's perspective. It does not mean you must agree with their position, but that you are willing to listen and be empathetic.  In doing so, you will gain a deeper understanding of your partner, which can lead to solutions you may not have considered.

• Celebrate your differences!   Think about how boring life could be if you and your partner liked exactly all of the same things: movies, books, sporting events, food, etc.  On the other hand, take the opportunity to learn about new topics by discussing your various interests with one another.

• Explore new activities.  Create new family traditions. In going out and trying different activities together as a couple, you may find new areas of interest you both enjoy! So, grab your mate and take a dance class together. Attend a sporting event new to the both of you. Start a hobby together. The possibilities are endless and will bring more variety into your life which will help to keep your relationship exciting.

Finally, I hope you realize that despite your differences, you and your partner can create a very healthy and exciting relationship.

Just remember to respect one another's individuality, while enjoying all of the excitement and adventure your diversity of interests can bring!

How do you handle the differences in personality between you and your significant other? Please share your story by commenting below.

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Comments

[Tina T]

I agree that difference should be celebrated. Men and women by nature are very different in many ways and that is what makes a relationship exciting. As long as your core values are the same, then most difference can be overcome.

[Terez]

Thanks for your comment Tina! Maintaining your core values as a person is essential in a relationship. So many people make the mistake of trying to change their partner, or trying to change themselves for the sole purpose of pleasing their mate. In the end, that path usually leads to discontent and resentment.

[Sasha]

I am struggling with this mightily and fear I am losing. While he is an amazing guy, I just don't think he's the guy for me. He is a kind, good person, but some of his personal habits and beliefs really rub me the wrong way. I have and never would ask him to change. But it would be nice to be with someone with whom I felt an emotional connection based on specific core values/beliefs. Really not sure if I should go or stay. He says sometimes I look unhappy. That is because I am...Excitement is great, but there is something to be said for similarity...

[Terez]

Hi Sasha,

First, Thanks for commenting! I appreciate the difficult position you are currently in. My advice to you is to listen to what your inner voice is telling you. From what you have already revealed, it sounds as if though your boyfriend is a fantastic person, he just may not be right for you. Unfortunately in life, that happens.

What is important is that you be completely honest with him about your feelings. You are doing a great disservice to both yourself and him by staying in the relationship if you believe you have no future together.

It sounds as if you really respect your boyfriend, and don't want to hurt him. However, you deserve to be in a relationship in which you feel completely fulfilled - and he deserves to move on too.

It would be a tragedy to deny both of you the chance to find true happiness. Don't let that be your story. Talk to your boyfriend.

I wish you all the best.