Growing Apart? How to Create Greater Intimacy
Terez 
It's a concern most couples grapple with at some point during their relationship.
No matter their age, income, ethnicity, or status, almost every couple faces the fear they are growing apart rather than closer together.
In fact, many people wake up one morning to discover the person sleeping next to them has become almost like a complete stranger.
"We live together like roommates" is a frustration I hear vented far too often.
That being said, there is already an ocean of advice available regarding the issue of increasing intimacy.
However, there is one method many overlook. It is a simple strategy which will not only result in deeper intimacy, but also provide a sense of purpose and joy.
So what is this miracle strategy? It is simply the act of (as a couple) being of service to others.
Now I realize there may be some eye rolling, but the truth is, when you concentrate on helping others, you tend to get back far more than you give.
Many couples who serve or volunteer together assert their relationships are strengthened due to their commitment to a higher purpose.
Consider these examples of benefits your relationship will receive by serving in support of a noble cause:
- It gives you both a goal larger than yourselves to thrive for. As a result, you will be drawn closer together by your mutual interest, participation and passion in achieving the same purpose.
- Helping others less fortunate tends to put our own lives and relationships in perspective. Many couples realize the pure folly in taking one another for granted.
- You discover new dimensions in each other. Couples often observe qualities, skill sets, and abilities their mates possess which may have gone unnoticed in their day-to-day lives. This sense of discovery is exciting - and sexy!
- Your respect for each other grows. If you are not careful, mutual admiration will grow between you because you are stepping out of your comfort zone to make a difference in the world.
Hopefully, you are beginning to realize the value of how serving others can improve your relationship and create the deeper intimacy you both deserve.
The bottom line is, when you decide to help others, you help yourself too - and greater intimacy is only the tip of the iceberg of many wonderful benefits you will receive.
Sounds like a win-win situation to me!
If you have any thoughts, opinions, or comments, please share with us by commenting below. Also, if you found this post helpful, share it and pass it on!
Wishing you much success,
Terez
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Reader Comments (4)
We talked about this subject (growing apart) with the couple we interviewed this weekend for our marriage documentary and we realized that this is a really common problem in relationships. Often, the big, dramatic issues are easier to fix than the gradual growing apart. This is great advice for how you can work on the issue, and do some good in the world. Thanks for the great tips, as usual!
To The Long Haul Project: thanks for your comment! I think a main reason so many couples become distant is they begin to take each other for granted. One of the best ways to remedy this is by helping others.
No other experience tends to help people put things in proper perspective than being of service to others. I wholeheartedly believe this.
By the way, I am very much looking forward to the debut of The Long Haul Project documentary!
You make an EXCELLENT point that we shouldn't take our partners for granted. It is just as important to give of yourself (your time, attention, support, affection) to your partner in order to keep your relationship strong and healthy.