Attention Nice Guys - Why You DON'T Have To Finish Last In Love

That Old Adage

Personally, I've always hated the old saying  "nice guys finish last!"  Yes, there most definitely are successful guys in the world who are complete jerks. But my feeling is, overall, being strong, kind and considerate will get you further faster.

Consequently,  I believe the same is true when it comes to dating.  For many years I used to feel that many woman preferred the "bad boys" to responsible, sensitive (okay, nice) guys. 

What's Nice Got To Do With It?

However, due to years of careful reflection, now my feeling is when it comes to love and romance, being nice has been unfairly equated to being dull and boring.

Consider this for a moment, the typical bad boy archetype in essence represents excitement and thrills.  I don't think most women want a partner who will mistreat them, but they do want someone who will help to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

When we are in a long-term relationships, it's especially easy to fall into a routine. This often happens when you are are comfortable with each other and secure in the relationship.  However, the pitfall comes when routine turns to boredom - and boredom is a highly underestimated cause for the breakup of many relationships.

Shake Things Up!

So what's a nice guy to do?  Well, you don't have to do anything drastic like rush out and purchase a Harely-Davidson (although that would be cool!), but you just need to use some imagination to shake things up a little.

The folowing are a few ideas to help get you going:

• Buy a copy of the Kama Sutra and ask her to pick a new position to try out each week.
• Go away together more often. Yes, our current economy is causing many of us to watch our budgets, so a romantic trip to Paris may be out of the question. Instead, spend a weekend at a nearby bed-and-breakfast.  The point is to spend time alone together. Determine to make this a top priority to do regularly.
• Indulge her.  Go out of your way to do something special for her. A fantastic idea is to prepare a bubble bath for her to take alone - and don't forget the chocolates!  Another idea is to present her with fresh wildflowers just because.
• The next time you both are out and about, hold her hand.
• When you next plan an evening out, do something she's interested in that you may not like. For example, if she likes the theater, buy tickets to a show and go (with an open mind). She will really appreciate the gesture.

Keep in mind,  it's not being nice that causes women to lose interest, but being staid and unwilling to try new experiences. By occassionally stepping out of your comfort zone, you will be helping to keep your relationship vibrant.

What are your feelings concerning the "nice guy" stereotype?  Please share your thoughts by commenting below.

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Comments

[Melissa]

Very interesting blog on a topic that many people could talk about for hours. I think you're right-- that women often equate "nice" with boring and there are ways to keep a relationship exciting and entertaining while still being a nice guy. I think many women fall for the "bad boy" when they are younger and grow out of that as they mature. You quickly realize how tiring it is to be with someone who thinks of himself first, can't be trusted, is unreliable, etc. So even if a nice guy finishes last, the right woman will be waiting for him at the finish line!

[Terez]

Melissa, thanks for adding a woman's perspective to this "hot button" issue. You make an excellent point that bad boys may be more attractive to younger women. I also think Hollywood doesn't help by over-romanticizing the appeal of "the rebel without a cause."

Hum, so what does everyone else think about the role the media has in the glamorization of bad boy stereotypes?

[Umbria Villa Rental]

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