Are Marriages Today Considered More Disposable?
Terez 
Recently I was was wondering exactly what is the current rate of divorce in the United States. My research led me to DivorceRate.Org, a site dedicated to providing the most up-to-date divorce statistics across the globe.
Here are some of the sobering numbers for the United States:
- The divorce rate for women under the age of 20 is 27.6%. For men it's 11.7%
- For women 20 to 24 years of age, the rate jumped to a whopping 36.6%! For men it's 38.8%!
- For women ages 25 to 29 the rate dipped to 16.4%. For men, 22.3%
- For women ages 30 to 34 the rate was 8.5%. For men, 11.6%
Also, according to Jennifer Baker with the Forest Institute Of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, an approximate 50% of first marriages fail, 67% of second marriages fail, and 74% of third marriages do not make it.
Of course there are many, many reasons why marriages end in divorce. However, I just can't help thinking maybe one of the root causes of the high divorce rate in the United States is our perception of the institution of marriage itself.
Do we, as a society, consider marriage disposable? Do many of us get married with the thought "if it doesn't work out, we can always end it" lurking somewhere in our subconscious?
Consider this, there is an entire lucrative, cottage industry surrounding weddings. Many women still dream of having their perfect wedding day. Hollywood has made billions of dollars producing romantic comedies where people find their soul mates and ride off to live happily ever after - and we have bought into it.
The main problem with this mentality is very little emphasis is placed on what comes next after the honeymoon.
For the most part, we still believe when we find the love of our life we will be complete and have our own personal happily ever after. Unfortunately, when real life sets in and difficulties arise in the relationship, how many are just opting out with the mantra "better luck next time!"
Recently a popular term has been coined for first marriages which end in divorce - the "starter" marriage. Sorry, but you can't find many terms which denote disposability more than that. The question is, are we content to relegate marriage to such a status?
I sincerely hope not.
What are your feelings about "starter" marriages? Do you feel marriage is considered as permanent a commitment as it once was? Please share your thoughts by commenting below!
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Reader Comments (2)
This question has been circulating since the 1950s when our grandparents divorced in droves after being unable to deal with civilian life.
I think it depends largely on the people. My husband and I are still on our first marriage. His sister is never married, his brother is on his third marriage. His mother on her third, his dad on his second, my dad is thrice divorced, and my mom's fourth husband left her a widow.Of our four bridesmaids, 2 are divorced, 1 is never married and 1 (my sister) is still on her first marriage. Of the groomsmen, one is divorced and three are still on first marriaged.
Our parents divorced. Our grandparents divorced. We 30-40 somethings are trying for more stability...well some of us are. Nothing new under the sun. Also, teen and 20something marriages fail at really high rates, mainly because of immaturity.
Angelia, thank you for your excellent observations! I do agree that in America, our divorce rates have fluctuated for generations. I also agree that the extremely high divorce rates among twentysomethings may have to do with immaturity. However, our divorce rates have been and still are among the highest in the world.
I suspect this is due in part to our tendency in the United States to over romanticize love and marriage. I think this leads many people to expect things from their marriage which they need to provide for themselves.
For instance, your partner is not responsible for your happiness, you are. Also, another person can not "complete" you. When people get married it's not two halves of a person joining together, but two separate, independent people deciding to form a lifelong partnership.
What I'm advocating is for people to develop a more balanced view of love, romance and marriage.