7 Tips For Achieving Greater Intimacy In Your Relationship

I think most of us would agree that attaining greater emotional intimacy in our relationships is a good thing. However, the question remains, how do we achieve it?

Well, let's begn by defining exactly what intimacy means.  According to the Oxford American Dictionary & Thesaurus, intimacy is:

closeness, togetherness, affinity, rapport, attachment, familiarity, friendliness, friendship, amity, affection, warmth, confidence

Sounds good doesn't it?

If you are ready to achieve greater intimacy with your life partner, here are 7 tips that will help guide you down that path:

1. Be More Physical  By being more physical, I am not just speaking of sexual closeness, although that is important. What is also just as important is showing physical affection for your mate in non-sexual ways. For instance when walking together, holds hands.  Routinely give each other back and foot rubs. While having a conversation, caress your partner's shoulder or the small of the back. All of these "little" gestures will pay off in dividends of greater closeness.
2. Respect Each Other's Differences  Even though you and your partner are a couple, you each are unique individuals. It is almost certain that you will have different opinions on many subjects.  Practice seeing things from your mate's point of view.  This does not mean you will agree on everything, but that you respect your partner's perspective.
3. Have The Talk  Discuss with each other openly and honestly what you need and expect from your relationship. Doing so will give you a clear picture of where the other stands.
4. Practice Acceptance  Do not try to change your partner. This error alone is the cause of much conflict in relationships.  Strive to accept your partner for who they truly are versus your ideal.
5. Actively Listen To Each Other   When conversing with your partner,  give them your full attention. Practice making eye contact while listening to what your partner is saying instead of preparing your next response.  In doing this, you will find that your communications with each other will have greater depth and meaning.
6. Familiarize Yourself With Your Own Feelings  Often we are our own worst enemy. This is especially true when it comes to creating intimacy with our partners.  Do you find it difficult to be open with your partner for fear of being judged?  Are you worried that your feelings will be significantly different from your mate?   A way to become more familiar with your feelings is to spend quiet time alone in reflection. Journaling is another great way to accomplish self-discovery.
7. Spend Time Alone Together  This may seem obvious, but with many couples dealing with the responsibilities of dual careers, children, civic duties, etc., time alone can become low on their list of priorities.  It is vital to carve out time when the both of you can shut out the world to focus only on each other.

Do you have your own tips for creating greater intimacy in relationships? If so, please share them with us!

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Comments

[Brandon Esby]

I enjoyed reading your post Terez. I would like to add a bit to your last item: Spend Time Alone Together One extremely important aspect to this tip is to not just spend alone time together, but to have alone time by incorporating surprises. Surprise your soul mate with a getaway trip somewhere special. Coming from man to woman, most women LOVE these sorts of times together and the surprises.

Plan your trip away from home. You don't have to go very far, but just doing something either spontaneous or planned will go very far in growing your intimacy level with your woman or man.

I remember when one of my girlfriends surprised me on my 30th by taking me up to the mountains for a snowboarding trip. She rented a nice home right on one of the waterways and spent the entire weekend together. It was very romantic and fun at the same time.

There is a long list of ways to improve intimacy in your relationship. Hope you enjoyed my input. Again, great article.

[Terez]

Hi Brandon! Thanks for adding such a GREAT tip to my list! I completely agree that couples must make it a priority to spend some quality alone time together!

Granted, it can be easier said than done with our hectic lives (careers, children, etc), but it is essential to keeping your relationship alive and vital.

In fact, you don't have to go far. Surprise your partner with a weekend stay at a nice, local hotel and pamper yourself.

Again, Brandon, thanks for taking the time to visit, and for providing us with such a wise piece of advice!

[Lisa]

I absolutely loved your tips and couldn't agree with them more! Tip #6 is the one that really stood out for me. I firmly believe that if you are familiar with your own feelings and are confident with who you are and are able to express them, the more easily you will be able to implement the other tips. Thank you for your insight....very refreshing!

[Terez]

Glad you enjoyed the post Lisa! #6 is one of my favorite tips as well. As I get older, one of the truths I'm discovering is the more we know ourselves, the more comfortable we are in our own skin.

I strongly believe as we confront and conquer our own insecurities, we enhance our ability to create and maintain healthier relationships with our life partners, family and friends.

Thanks again for your input. I hope you become a regular reader!