Overcoming Heartache - 5 Strategies to cope, heal and thrive

I’ve had heartaches, headaches, toothaches, earaches, and I’ve had a few pains in the ass; but I’ve survived to tell about it. – Dolly Parton

Nothing feels quite as exhilerating as falling in love, doesn't it?  For days even the highest clouds seem to float far beneath you.

On the other hand, falling out of love can feel as though you have lost all sense of space and direction. The pain can be so intense that all you want to do is make everything stop.

Even though you may feel you will never be whole again, there are ways you can aid the healing of your heart. You will emerge not only restored, but also much stronger on the other side:

• Give yourself time to grieve.  When serious relationships end, especially abruptly, the emotions you feel are very similar to grief. We all grieve in different ways. Ignore often well-meaning advice to "just get over it," and "get back in the saddle."  Take as much time as you need to feel whatever you need to feel.
• Tap into your support network.  Your friends care about you, and want to help. Let them. They are living, breathing reminders love is still very much present in your life.
• Get moving!  When going though a difficult time, many of us just want to hibernate in bed and not move - ever.  Still, it does help to get some type of physical exercise.  It doesn't matter if it's jogging, walking, swimming or dancing, just move.  Studies show exercise is not only good for us physically, but it also has many emotional benefits as well.
• Shift your perspective.  We need to look back to reflect on past relationships in order to learn  lessons which can carry us upward and onward.  Keeping a journal is a great way to express your feelings, and gain valuable insights. Reading quality relationship books is another effective way to get some much needed perspective.
• Laugh!  There truly is healing power in laughter. On occasions when the hurt and pain seem to much to endure, watch a favorite comedy film, sitcom or standup comedian. Get together with dear friends and have a blast reminiscing. You will be amazed at how quickly laughter brightens your heart and chases those dark clouds away!

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12 Ways Love Isn't - Relationship Behaviors To Avoid

Love is a special word, and I use it only when I mean it. You say the word too much and it becomes cheap.  - Ray Charles

If you think about it, the word love is thrown around a lot.

For some folks, it flows off their tongue as easily as water flows downhill.

In fact, people in the most dysfunctional of romantic relationships will often swear up and down they love their mates - but their behavior towards each other is screaming the exact opposite.

While there are plenty of ruminations to be found on the nature of true love, it is just as important to recognize relationship behaviors where it is not present:

1.  Love is not abuse

2.  Love is not losing yourself

3.  Love is not manipulation

4.  Love is not control

5.  Love is not deception

6.  Love is not disrepect

7.  Love is not being made to feel inferior

8.  Love is not exploitation

9.  Love is not just sex

10. Love is not dishonesty

11. Love is not broken promises

12. Love is not conditional

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